we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
