So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
