well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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