If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
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my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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