I wanna bring you to show and tell
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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