Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
