Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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