Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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