Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
