What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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