chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
