Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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