Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
