after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize