He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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