"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
