hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
