dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
