By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize