i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
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You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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