I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
