its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize