all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
