I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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