Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm

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(616): View more from Michigan

His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"

(616): View more from Michigan

He did it well too

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(908): View more from New Jersey

ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.

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(407): View more from Florida

Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?

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(619): View more from California

surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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(801): View more from Utah

New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.

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(207): View more from Maine

Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.

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