Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
