Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
