A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
