Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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