Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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