i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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