This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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