he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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