I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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