just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
