he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
