i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
