Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
