Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
