she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
