Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just pee around me
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
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