I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
