She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
