My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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