My room smells like vodka and shame
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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