that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
