yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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