Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
