dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
