so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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