Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
accomplished twins. life is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
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