After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
