The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
