we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
