Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
