I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
