i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
