i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
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they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
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I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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