At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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