I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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