i just had sex bonerless
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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